Obligation?... I'd Rather You Not.

Obligation

Did I hear that word correctly? Did you just say that the reason you spend time with me, go places with me, make time for me, is because you are obligated to? Did you really just classify me in the same category as paying your taxes, taking out the trash, and spending time with your in-laws?

How many of us have ever been made to feel or told that someone feels obligated to do what we oh so desire they would just want to? We wish with every fiber of our being that they would feel compelled, driven, urged from some force within them to simply do right by us. But the reality is that sometimes, and I hate to say it, most times, the very people that we are longing to receive this from simply just aren't capable of giving it to us. They are just not equipped. Now, you may be thinking that I'm wrong and that everyone can CHOOSE to do whatever they want. And I would argue differently. If you ask the addict, the hoarder, the person who has to turn the door knob 10 times in one different directions before entering or leaving every room of their house, and I promise you, they will not say those are things they would choose for themselves.

I wise man once told me, "you can't put into people what the good Lord left out", and I concur. When people don't have the desire to do right by you, love you the way you'd like, don't let that throw you. Don't feel yourself being put into the "obligation" category and lessen the measure of your worth. Recognize that it's a deficiency within them that is keeping them from realizing the fullness of what you have to offer and nothing lacking within you. Take a vacation from the obligation mindset, and walk in a freedom that says no matter what your motivation, I'm content with what you give me. Notice I didn't say grateful, because certain actions just don't qualify for gratitude.

It's like your children expecting to be rewarded for chores, making good grades, or simply obeying the rules. You're the children, dammit, that's what you're supposed to do! lol. Regard the adults in your life the same way. If you're the spouse, don't expect your significant other to oozing with thanks because you remembered your anniversary or her birthday. Hell, it's what you're supposed to do. lol. Step outside the box. Rise above the mediocre existence of the world of obligation if you can. And if you're the receiver in this situation or any other like it, and you see that no matter how many chances you give them, despite any amount of effort you put into them, if they are still unable to move past being "obligated" to you, determine if you're content with that. If you can be okay with living like the electric bill in someone's life, something they feel like they have to take care of or it will effect them negatively, and if so, stay. But if not, and you are ready for the wonderful world of voluntary association, a world where people choose to do things they aren't required to, a place that feels amazing, it may be time to reevaluate. Step into something new.

I strongly recommend it. But remember, you're not obligated to.