I was recently criticized for a post I put on Instagram that compared men putting up pics of cars and cash to women posting pics of their tits and ass because I said that they both complain when they attract "hoes" who only want their money and "niggas" who only want to hit it and leave. The problem was in my use of the word "hoe" in describing the women according to this particular female. She felt as if I was degrading the women and regardless if they were degrading themselves, she said that I shouldn't. Her statement was that I was judging them based on their pictures and women dressing sexually didn't make them promiscuous. (And let me just say that I wasn't calling them hoes or the men niggas.. that's why the words were in quotes... because that's how they refer to each other in the pics)
Having said that, I'm not quite sure we're referring to the same thing...
There's a difference between dressing in a provocative manner and posting pics that could make the cover of Penthouse. There's such a thing as being sexy, tempting even, without being vulgar and displaying nudity.
And I have this thought on it:
If you're a bird and you have wings, I'm going to assume you can fly. Now, we all know that not every bird can fly, but the majority of the time, it's a safe and accurate assumption. So, if you conduct yourself in a manner that appears "hoe-ish" in nature, I don't believe you have the right to be offended when I assume that to be true.
For those who think I'm wrong or wouldn't like it if the shoe was on the other foot, I'd like to address that for you. When I first started writing and even now to some degree, there are those who think I'm a "man hater" and just blast men all the time, but I don't let that bother me. I know that if someone actually reads a good portion of my work/posts, they'll know that's not the case and anyone who makes that assumption doesn't really know me. While social media is an "outlet" and not necessarily the best tool to use when making an assessment about people, I do believe it's pretty much like everything else in life... whatever is most important to you, the way you think, believe, etc will show through more often than not. You can't hide who you are. That goes for the good and bad.
As for "judging" people... I have an issue with that word. I don't think categorizing you or believing you to be who you show yourself to be is judgment. I think it's smart. Good prudence. Judgment is when I determine your value or worth based on that assumption and that's not something I've done. I haven't said that none of these people are good, have value, or could be relationship material. That's not for me to say. Now, there are those who believe a hoe and housewife don't go together, but that's not up to me to decide. I can only judge if men who post nothing but cash and cars are good prospects for ME... not anyone else. And it's my prerogative to do so because I can choose who's in my life or not for whatever reasons I deem appropriate. So... back to the issue of whether I was wrong for making an assumption that a bird with wings can fly:
There's a reason stereotypes exist. They may be racially, socially, or economically motivated, but for the most part, they are accurate. That's how they become stereotypes, right? We naturally associate technology and intelligence with Asians, religion and right-wing values with Republicans, "baby daddy" issues, dancing, and good cooking with Blacks, and the KKK with rednecks. While there are definitely lots of people who don't fit into these stereotypes, they exist because there's a majority where they've been found to be true for a long period of time. Don't get mad at me for speaking the truth. I'm just sayin'.
It would be wonderful to live in a world without prejudice, but I don't believe that to be the same thing as assessing who people demonstrate themselves to be and then making an assumption based on that information. How else are we supposed to determine who people are? We have to go on our gut, our spirit, etc but we can't discount what we see with our own eyes because that'd be plain foolishness. At least in my humble opinion.
So, if your profile pics, IG posts, and Twitter look like the twerkin' pic below... please expect and don't be offended when me (and others) assume you're a hoe.
