So this morning, I wake to the news that a friend and mentor, Bluz, has won another Emmy. So, I respond to the news in typical fashion, saying "Congrats! When I grow up I want to be like you!". His response: "You're already there." And the thing about hearing this is that as much as I want to hear it, long to believe it, there's the little nagging voice in me that says I dare not.
Because what if it doesn't happen? what if it's not true?
What if the masses are wrong and there's nothing that amazing out there for you? then what? do you dare to dream that dream, believe in the impossible, or rather, the improbable, and say yes, that right there... that good thing: it can happen... it is happening to me? Is that what you do?
I know the answer. You know the answer. It's without a doubt, unequivicolly, YES!
But man, that can be toughest part, can't it? Believing that what you do has value to someone and that it may that thing that sets you apart from everyone else. takes you to another level. i mean, did whitney, mariah, celene, denzel, meryl, julia, and the rest believe? did they know that they would have the thing that would catapult them into the greatest there has ever been in what they do? or did they sit back and say, I have no idea why they love it, but damn, i'm glad they do!
Now, am i comparing myself or even Bluz, with these people? no, not really. i'm just talking about the ability to believe that God is not playing the role of narcissist today. That He's not using our lives for his entertainment, dangling dreams and impossibilities as potential realities, only to remove them at the slightest sign of hope in their fruition. and i know some of you just cringed at my analogy of God, but when you have lived a life that seems to be full of just such ironies, you learn to put nothing past anyone.. not even God. sad, but true. And maybe that's why the dreams are breathed, maybe it's Him trying to give me something to believe. Maybe, just maybe He's trying to woo me... court me back... teach me that He hasn't left me at all and that these human failings that have devastated me were not of His design, but He allowed them to develop me. Ready me. for this... this improbability.
I don't know...but man, i sure do hope.
and soon... maybe I'll believe.
I think that...wait...I know that dreams come true. I have watched you evolve and this blog is evidence of this truth. With no traditional publisher, no major promoter, no national platform, you have already gained the attention of people that can not only appreciate your craft, but that can help you flourish. I will tell you something I heard years ago that still holds true today, "It's not your fault, it's just your time."
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